Christmas Morning. With my back turned, blanket over my head, and silence filling the room, one would think I was sleeping. I was crying. Each tear filled with memories, heartache, and emotional pain. Christmas is a holiday that's supposed to be filled with joy, gifts, and love. I was filled with sadness, regret, and no love at all. I wanted to call them. Wishing them a "Merry Christmas". Asking what they received and what was their plan for the day. But I couldn't. I wanted to see them. But once again, I couldn't. Not being able to call or see them caused the tears to crawl out of my eyes and run down my face.
Will next Christmas be like this? Will every holiday be like this? Will I ever be happy? These are the same people who said they were gonna cheer me on at graduation in June. Well who's going to cheer me on now? Of course my parents will but it's the same. It will never be the same. Well maybe Santa will be able to brighten my day with a gift. The gift I want will make everything better. It's simple. All I want for Christmas is a round trip to Heaven and back. Is that too much to ask for? Looking to the sky is not enough for me anymore. That's the way that life works though. I'm forced to accept this battle, move on, and be "happy". But how am I supposed to be happy when the people that filled my life with joy are gone?
I am sorry that you feel this way. I hope it will get better for you. This blog was written very story like and I enjoyed reading it to get to know more about you. In June many people like me will be cheering you on!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you feel this way too. Maybe this poem will help you feel better: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poem/179622
ReplyDeleteIt is a love poem, but you can also read it as a friendship or family love.